This is the first guest contribution to the site from, The Artist.
Greetings to the masses from the Arteest, yes that’s just how you say it, come with me now. I unlike my more modest counterpart am an expert in the field of relationships, but I do break rules from time to time just to keep it interesting (I kid, I kid).
As a man of the 21st century I will refute the argument that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. However,it will definitely get you an introduction to mom dukes quicker and every nigga gotta eat! Now I make that statement not to get in the proverbial “I wish my woman did this or that” argument, but to reflect on a more pointed idea; a man needs stability just as much as a woman. Furthermore, if a man has a had a strong, positive, black woman in his life prior to meeting you (usually his mother), then 9 times out of 10 he will hold you to a standard that she has set the precedent for. Or in simple terms for the scallywags: my mother worked 9-5, fixed dinner, washed clothes, kept her style impeccable and retired before the age of 60. Ms. Jackson and I sing in unison, “What have YOU done for me lately?”
Now before you go getting all depressed that you will never ever begin to stack up to your man’s mother/aunty/grandma, don’t fret. Here are 6 sure fire ways that you can make consistent strides to riding shotgun in the Batmobile and one day get that Thanksgiving Dinner invite:
Greetings to the masses from the Arteest, yes that’s just how you say it, come with me now. I unlike my more modest counterpart am an expert in the field of relationships, but I do break rules from time to time just to keep it interesting (I kid, I kid).
As a man of the 21st century I will refute the argument that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. However,it will definitely get you an introduction to mom dukes quicker and every nigga gotta eat! Now I make that statement not to get in the proverbial “I wish my woman did this or that” argument, but to reflect on a more pointed idea; a man needs stability just as much as a woman. Furthermore, if a man has a had a strong, positive, black woman in his life prior to meeting you (usually his mother), then 9 times out of 10 he will hold you to a standard that she has set the precedent for. Or in simple terms for the scallywags: my mother worked 9-5, fixed dinner, washed clothes, kept her style impeccable and retired before the age of 60. Ms. Jackson and I sing in unison, “What have YOU done for me lately?”
Now before you go getting all depressed that you will never ever begin to stack up to your man’s mother/aunty/grandma, don’t fret. Here are 6 sure fire ways that you can make consistent strides to riding shotgun in the Batmobile and one day get that Thanksgiving Dinner invite:
- Spontaneity - Everyone loves a lil razzle dazzle (c) Money Mike, here and there and your man is no different. Show up to his job for lunch one day with some vittles, or take him out to eat if you don’t have a culinary disposition. Just a lil something that makes him know you put in the extra effort.
- Be a Team Player - In this day and age, I’ll be the first to say gender roles have become more ambiguous than ever. So with that being said offer to join in…it could be the dishes, laundry, cooking, sex (I kid, I kid), etc. Just show that you are down for the cause.
- Leave the House from Time to Time - There is nothing worse than a woman that is in the house all day with no obvious motive or end goal. At least pump fake us into thinking you are doing something productive!
- Be Honest and Open - Ladies, there is no shame in admitting when you lack a skill set. We all have our opportunities for improvement. But do not, I repeat, do not refuse to even try. Your man probably played organized sports when he was younger and believe me, the nigga that everybody hated on the team was the one that made excuses! Let the obscure become an opportunity, he will defintiely appreciate the efforts of you learning something new, even if you don’t perfect it
- Perfect the Grilled Cheese Sammich (CRITICAL POINT) - Ladies, this might be the most important point I give you. There is something about the way a man’s momma makes a grilled cheese sandwich that conjures up more nostalgic memories than Christmas or his first beat (welllll maybe not the latter but you get my point, lol). You whip up a bomb grilled cheese at 2am after rigorous “team work” and he will love you for life!
- AND FINALLY...Stand By Your Man- I don’t even like country music but Tammy Wynette laid it down with this one. This point almost seems obvious but lets break this one down so it can forever and consistently be broke (don’t know that line, step your movie game up). At the end of the day loyalty is one of the most sacred pacts in the modern world. Its what had the Bulls winning championships in the 90’s, it lifted Berkshire Hathaway to fortune, and it has kept your grandparents together for 50 years even though they claim not to like each other. A good man will always remember someone who was loyal to him, even if ya’ll aren’t together anymore and he will respect you for it. So ladies, when your girlfriends are trash talking their dudes or cursing to the high heavens about “niggas aint shit!”…kindly excuse yourself from the conversation…and then go whip up that grilled cheese :-)
-The Artist
