It All Started With a Grilled Cheese Sammich

I've been absent from my writing post for almost two weeks now. Meanwhile, numerous news worthy events have transpired and gone undocumented on my watch. I should have to turn in my pen and my page should be deactivated. My literary license should be revoked ...yeah right. It's not THAT serious. But what is serious is what I have to say concerning the rest of this year.

As I stood in front of the open refrigerator enjoying the view (it was empty for a few weeks while I was traveling), I suddently had a craving for a grilled cheese sammich. If you've been reading the Self-Help series, you know the signifcance of this delicacy. After I whipped one up and enjoyed all the crunchy cheesiness that eminates from those two pieces of bread, I reflected on my year thus far. I've accomplished goals but I still have miles to go before I sleep [and miles to go before I sleep]. So now that I, well, we are embarking on the second half of '09 you can expect the following:

• No more Hump Day or Friday Funny. I've been thinking of alternative ways of providing consistent writing samples every week and when I come up with them I'll post them (however I'm reserving the right to bring Hump Day back if a new song oozing with sexual innuendo comes out or if I just have the urge to talk my shit)


• Increased dialogue around male/female relations. Candid dialogue. So I'll put the disclaimer out there: I'm not trying put anyone on blast. I write to right the wrongs & sometimes that includes highlighting some personal experiences from friends or even myself. All names will be changed to protect the innocent (and my car, facebook page, & anything of mine that could be vandalized for vindictive purposes)


• Tweetin' : @davedougie...Follow me (as creepy as that sounds)

Stay tuned for more slick talk.

Hump Day - Your Voice

I have writer's block...I don't know why. I'm trying not to force it. I said "Self, just let it flow", but self replies "I'm constipated, mentally". I wanted to say something eloquent & witty about the voice, you know, something like it's an audible identification card. But then I couldn't find the words to stitch it to the next point that if someone is intriguing enough, a conversation should be a dance. In the beginning it's, its like a waltz. Methodical & rigid, initial conversations follow a certain pattern with the goal of building a foundation of knowledge about each other. As you become comfortable, it's more like "freak dancing" (please check out this accurate definition courtesy of urban dictionary). Ideally, you want conversation with the opposite sex to mimic the tango - fluid movement & understanding of the other's person's style. You anticipate their next move and know when to lead & when to follow. Then you know I had to throw in a point alluding to phone sex & some sexual innuendo. But... It just didn't come together like I wanted to. Check out the song, I'll be back with a vengeance next week.