Just Because...

I like a long-haired, thick, red bone... Pass a nigga napkin, por favor

Hump Day - Make It Like It Was

So I've been listening to Pandora all day sans headphones and I must say it's been clutch like the last piece of gum before the pack has been ravaged. I created a cool little station called "Old Soul". The foundation was laid with my favorite 70's group, The Stylistics, and brick by brick this house of soul is being built before my eyes & ears with the help of some other legendary artists. The longer the station plays, the brighter the light of truth shines... our music sucks in comparison to our parent's selection of tunes. What happened to the soul, to the passion, to the QUALITY? The world may never know. But b/c I'm not feeling as verbose today, I'm offering up 3 of my favorites...

Text Me Ba-by, Ba-by...TEXT MEEE! (Think R.Kelly)

So I took a moment yesterday and examined the progression of social communication in my lifetime...It started with getting "The Number". During these years (Middle School - High School) all you had was a land line i.e. house phone. House phone meant that you weren't lingering on the phone for extended periods of time b/c your parents had important "grown folks business" to handle...that is, until the late night hour. We all have held conversations on the phone hoping that one of the two things did NOT happen 1) You hear a faint knock on your door (in my case, it was Mom hatin') tellin you to "Get Off That Phone & Go To Bed" 2) Or the worse option of someone (Mom was still hatin in this deparment) gettin ONTO the phone and askin asking "Who are you talkin to on MY phone this late? Parents get possesive & shit when you make them upset. Sidnote: To every individual who talked so much their parents gave them their OWN line, the epitome of "cool" before you had your own whip, I salute you.

Next, it was AOL Instant Messanger or AIM (High School - College). The crack like addiction to AIM should have been an omen for what text messaging would become. After riding home sweaty & geeked from a "wild" night at the local teen club (hilarious), you'd sign on to AIM which sorta became an afterparty in itself. You know, teenagers doing what they do best, tryna cut something (don't front, its true). Even in my formidable years, I realized the power in words and written game is so much more tangible. I won't even incriminate myself and discuss the benefits of picture sharing & AIM. *Computer Love playing softly in the background* Cellular phones COMPLETELY altered the way the game is played. Sadly, I did not have one before I graduated from high school (Mom was a habitual hater) but my best friend did...And his # was my # when it was necessary. This was the best way to pump fake the parents into thinking you were one place and using the celly to make arrangements so you could go slam dunk something. YOOOUUUU-A! (c) The Dream. And when you became bored of actually talking on your cell phone, then you had thumb fuckin or text sex.

It's evident now though that pseudo talking i.e. texting is the preferred method of communcation. I don't know why it came as such a surprise initially. I mean, everyone wrote notes in their youth. Numerous people find comfort in being able to share thoughts w/o truly (by that I mean audibly) voicing their opinion. The convenience of the text message is undeniable. Don't want to talk, text. Out with the homies but you'd rather be with someone else, text. Out with the homies and you want to make sure you're with someone at the end of the night [AY! (c) Juiceman], text. I will say that there needs to be some text etiquette that comes with every phone (extra rules if you have a QWERTY keyboard) although I won't get into them all on this post. Remember, safe text is great text. Also, in case you didn't know, Bitches love smiley faces (c) Ed Wuncler (The Boondocks). Emoticons, ya know this shit --> :-) :-( ;-P

I digress...The point of this whole post was to say, check out this song "LOL Smiley Face". Yeah I got a bit long winded on this one.

Aside: Be weary of the drunk text, the incriminating text, or the superlongtextthatprobablywillbemisinterpreted.

Hump Day - Girl Tonight

So recently, I've gotten back in the gym. I was sick of paying the "fat tax" as L.A. Fitness gets that good autodraft out of my account whether I get motivated to work out or decide to kick it with Mary Jane, Ben & Jerry. Since I've been waking up sore most mornings I'm constantly reminded how the glory is all about how you look AFTER you have perspired & strained like a bodybuilder on roids. The ends justify the means but aside from the odd sadomasochist sensation that comes from working your muscles, frankly it sucks trying to get right. Thankfully, other "physical" activities are pleasurable from beginning down to the very end. Even though some people don't know how to slow down and participate in the events that "Fore"shadow a rumpus rendezvous, if given proper instruction I'm sure they will learn to appreciate it. The anticipation heightens the experience, b/c sometimes you can't get in that matinee like you'd like to. So you have to rely on those subtle touches & quality hugs until later. Just to bring the point home, make sure you whisper in her like "Girl...tonight".

Friday Funny (on Tuesday) - Can You BELIEVE Reggie Bush wifed Kim?

The Finals are over and I'm lightweight depressed. I mean, seriously, what am I supposed to watch now? Wimbledon!?! It's not the same...although, seeing Serena in all her [thickness]athletic prowess will make up for some of the angst I feel. One of the greatest parts of this NBA post season was the MVP Puppets ads. I love commercials so it's a given that I'd appreciate this, but even someone who was waiting for the game to come back on could get down with these. Here's a parody of one of the commercials.

Hump Day - In the Middle

9 times of 10, my mind is in the middle. No, not in the gutter, but in the middle. You know, the softest place on EarF. It's not b/c I'm a "perv" or a "sexual deviant" (both of which I have been called in a joking manner... LOL ... pardon me, I had to laugh @ that), but because I'm a man and a passionate one at that. I'm an affection advocate, a PDA proponent, & if I <3 you, I'm going to demonstrate this to you every chance I get. Remember, Virginia is for Lovers. That being said, I'm going to let a fellow Virginian break it down for you...

Friday Funny (on Tuesday) - Pause

If you haven't seen the original video of Spectacular in his red boy shorts, schowwy, I'm not puttin' that shit on my page. Truth be told, I promptly turned it off once I realized that he was about to engage in a full fledged danceline-esque routine. You know the internet was/is flamin' (yeah...) hot with the buzz around this shit. The consolation prize that comes with such fuckery is that every controversial moment spawns parody...

Hump Day - Stingy

There's comes a breaking point in any male/female interaction where playing it cool just doesn't work anymore. In the beginning, you can suppress your urge to call & maybe just send a strategic text. You can find other things to occupy your mind in place of that special someone. But there comes a time where you have to say "FCUK IT" and just put it out there. Perhaps like this, *Old school baritone* "You know...I've reached a point where I'm not afraid to say I care. I'm not afraid of the possibilities that love brings. BUT I am afraid...of losing you" Got Dammit, PUT ME IN THE BOOTH AHORA!

T vs A : Ocean's 7

So I got put on yesterday. After doing my dashboard check, I see N.Harlem aka CTB (Chi-Town Bound) had some new music posted. Ocean's 7 = Jermaine Dupri + Johnta Austin + Trey Songz + B.Cox + Nelly + Tyrone & Usher & the song is "So Much Swagg". Aside from the fact that the word "swag" needs to be bronzed and placed on a shelf, I fuck wit the record. Being the Internet surfer and YouTube aficionado I am, I found some more videos from this unlikely compilation of artist. Below is a video where the group engages in the timeless man discussion of tits vs ass. Ladies, if you ever wondered how we sound, this is pretty accurate. Oh & for the record:

ass > tits (C's are optimal but mosquito bites are unacceptable)