Don't You Have A Man?

I'm in/ a swell mood/ or rather swoll mood/ Until she told me that she told dude/ That she'll be back, she's going to the store/ I didn't know she had a boyfriend, so the door/ I pointed her to/ I said, Call me when y'all break up/ I don't fuck nobody bitch/ And never on the Jacob, know what time it is - Andre Benjamin

I have to admit, when I first heard this line, it evoked the screw face. I thought "really, Dre? You are going to refute the offering of cakes simply because she's a foul beast [aka femininus scallywageth]?" But I ushered in '09 with a new sense of responsibility. And that means being sensible for yourself AND for others in certain situations. Recently, I caught the video for "Boyfriend #2" by R.Kelly-in-training, Pleasure P. The song may be new, but the concept is rather old [played] in my opinion. Just listen...

A relationship like any sturdy structure is built upon a foundation. A solid foundation is essential to longevity. If you have a corrupt foundation, what's erected is bound to crumble and I promise you, it will not be a pleasant sight. That being said, can you truly aspire to have a something meaningful with someone who views you as #2?

Aside : TRUST ME, I know it's easier to be #2 and honestly it's a good look, BUT I'm on some different shit. I'm not fuckin up any body's anything. I'm too close to the time where I need to secure a potential bride for karma to get my black ass. No Thanks. Which leads me into my next point

Sometimes you have to be sensible for someone else. Seriously, sweetheart if you don't want to be in a relationship anymore, why don't you just tell him? Barring that nigga is NOT crazy and respects your decision to end the relationship amicably, we can get busy [You know, I'm thinking about bringing "get busy" back. I mean, certain styles re-emerge, why can't slang? *] I know why though, because I'm your escape. He's massah and I'm freedom. He's the restrictive panty hose and the comfortable pair of jeans that you love. But when it's all said and done the REAL question is, what's so different?

Every guy loves to hear, "I don't normally do this, but you're different." However in certain situations, we are thinking:

The only thing that's different is the person who is paying you attention. And not to discount my entire point, but THAT's why being Boyfriend #2 works. I don't have to give you all my attention, which is great because I do not want to give you all my attention. In conjunction, you do you want all my attention b/c you cannot handle it based on your current situation with Boyfriend #1. It's a win-win, but only for the time being. Pretty soon, Boyfriend #1 will no longer be in the picture. And in a situation where Boyfriend #2 is expected to be his successor I must direct you to the words of that pony riding philosopher, Elgin Lumpkin:

Ya Feel Me? If not, this should bring the point home,

*"Doin It" is another phrase that I think should be brought back

Note: To the fellaz, I am in no way passing judgement. The mind is willing, but the flesh is weak. And Real talk, if she tries you more than once, I understand if you have to oblige that cobbler. However, just know that "slip up" (hope it was slippery, at least) may come back to haunt you.