Got Values? A Job vs A Career - More of My Thoughts on Relationships

In my previous blog, I compared having a job vs. a career mindset concerning relationships. To expound upon my earlier points, I'd like to extend my metaphor even further. So now I offer a list of core principles that should be embodied in any real relationship, just as every corporation has core values that a career-minded employee should follow.

ARTICULATE –Disagreements happen and accepting that simple fact will aid in resolving problems expeditiously. Do not suppress your thoughts and feelings because you are apprehensive about a possible tiff or altercation. Numerous companies believe in 360° feedback. This provides employer and employee a chance to voice their respective opinions on what is going on. Feedback is not criticism, it's the truth. When you "fuck up" your boss does not want to fire you. However, he/she would like you to stop fucking up ASAP. As people, we have strengths and opportunities for improvement. Weakness implies that these characteristics cannot be changed and that they are permanent character flaws. Keep the communication lines open and let your mate know they can express their true feelings to you. The more proverbial "shit" you hold back is just more shit that will hit the fan one day. The truth hurts sometimes, but it shall set you free.

APPRECIATE-Contrary to popular belief no one, male or female, can read minds. So say "thank you"; it goes a long way. View the things your mate does for you and to you as perks. Take pleasure in giving pleasure. As long as the reciprocal nature is present in the both of you, ideally you won't have to worry about receiving the "non-love". There is a saying in the corporate world that goes, "You are rewarded for doing good work with more work". Similarly, in a relationship be careful about spoiling your mate if you have no intention of continuing to give so freely. It's natural that the more one gets, the more they expect. The more they expect, the less appreciative they become. The less appreciative they become, the more ungrateful they seem and perception is reality. When you become too comfortable, you may begin saying things that begin with "Why don't you…" and end with "like you used to". This is a sure sign that trouble is ahead.

DELEGATE/DICTATE-A woman wants you to lay down the law. Not in that Ike Turner, eatthecakeAnnaMae kind of way, but most women just want to ride shotgun and know you are the captain. She has no problem being the co-pilot and is completely capable of taking the reins; however she does enjoy having minimal responsibility. Leaders are always necessary. There is a chain of command at any establishment to keep the flow of information efficient. Even though the CFO operates at a higher level than an analyst, both roles are crucial for a corporation to operate at an optimal level. It's one thing to treat your women like your queen; it's another to treat her like the queen. Women have a tendency of saying things that might imply they want to make decisions…but they don't mean that. What they mean is, "Listen better, learn what I like, and you won't have to ask". Gentlemen, I know it's confusing but they speak a foreign language unbeknown to us and it's called 'Vagina'. (The search is still on for the 'Vagina' Rosetta Stone)

VENTILATE-Men & women love the chase. More so, don't be fooled into thinking that the chase is over once you're in a relationship. So even if it seems that your mate can't get enough of you, WAKE UP! © School Daze…because you're dreaming. Everyone needs some "me" time. Equally, the most diligent and focused individual needs a work/life balance. You don't want to be engulfed in your career and have no substance outside of the office. Be sure to take a break as you're climbing that corporate ladder. Career or relationship, you have to let it breathe! Step back so you can approach it with a fresh perspective. Anything in excess is detrimental to your health, so be easy.