People change. Plans change. Careers, well they change too. Nothing is everlasting but the Lord, believe that. So when it reaches the point where it's time to find a substitution for your mate, don't be surprised. Let me assure you that you will encounter and experience a variety of relationships before you meet the one that's truly for you. Call me a cynic, but I don't believe in love at first sight. It's hard to assess someones character upon first glance so I know for DAMN sure I'm not going to size up that breezy by the bar and say, "Oh my, she's going to be my wife"...I digress.[Aside: If you believe in love at first sight, kill yo self]
But keeping with the theme of the series, the ending of a relationship can also be compared to a significant career modification. I thought long and hard about this blog. The public said "I'm looking forward to the next one" and I was even more anxious to bring it to them. What points could I make? What clarity would I bring? What light should I shine on the subject matter? But then it hit me. It's as simple as this: When you resign from your position, you move on. When you break up, you move on. Too often Ex-es teeter on the line of being "together" and "separated". When you get that promotion or transition to a new company: Do you go back to your old office to resume your previous role? Do you expect a paycheck from your former employer? If you do, I truly wonder where your new job is and who it's with....
However, it would be in your best interest to do two things with your previous employer (mate) before you assume your new position:
1) Evaluation
Too often we become engulfed in doing what we think is the right thing and we fall short of greatness. You will never be able to see yourself the way others do so soliciting feedback is a good idea. The reality is, people will despise your characters flaws yet they wait until its too late to inform you of your shortcomings. It ends friendships, causes communication breakdown in the workplace, but most importantly it ruins relationships. Miscommunication is such a cancer to a healthy bond. The silver lining to this cloud though is the wisdom gained from these dispiriting situations. Take the time to sit down with your former mate (employer) and truly have an adult dialogue about why you aren't together. When I say adult dialogue, I mean no name calling and assassination of character. Just a candid discussion of what it is and what it is not. Be prepared to hear the ugly truth about yourself and know that's its part of your promotion to a better relationship, but most importantly a better you. But in order to have this dialogue you must
2) End on Good Terms
Now this may be a harder task then I make it out to be. It's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate just maybe one of the realest phrases ever uttered. The person you want to _______ (insert colorful euphemism for sex) but call it "making love" is the same person who can press your buttons like a special code for most games on Super Nintendo (I know y'all remember that shit). Before you know it you are cursing at this person with the fervor and gusto of Tony Soprano yet in your mind you are thinking "What the fuck are we arguing about? Shit, I really don't know, but I gotta win this one." ...Maybe it's just me. Love is grand, huh? Similarly, ending on good terms with an employer is ideal. You do not want to burn any bridges. Possessing contacts who speak highly of you regardless of where your career takes you is an invaluable asset.
But even if in the end you and your former "boo" are meant to beef (It isn't a coincidence that there is a song called "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do") like Shaq vs. Kobe, 50 Cent vs. Game, or Omorosa vs. Wendy Williams (please watch this shit http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/showbiz/2008/07/23/sbt.omarosa.smack.cnn) try to be cordial long enough with one another to have these conversations.
[playing "Happy" by N*E*R*D ]
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