Despite the title, this entry contains no bitchassness, just the truth. Let me start by saying, I hate feelings [oddly enough, "hate" is a feeling]. I view them as an impediment to clear & logical thought. So, emotions : mind as lisp : speech, in my male opinion. The difficulty lies in the old parental proverb "You can think whatever you want, just watch what comes out of your mouth". Of course, the parentals are usually referring to something disrespectful that teenagers mumble under their breath that warrants a jab to the chest or an object thrown blindly in their direction. In the case of us men though too much emoting is likened to estrogen, which is a direct insult to your manhood. It is taboo to cry unless someone has died or you have suffered blunt force trauma to your testicles. I realize I have omitted some other instances worthy of tears, but the point is unless you are a cry baby (or a woman), tears usually signify you are serious. The tricky part, however, is self-expression.
Females have endless avenues of self-expression because it's a known fact that they emote like Whitney Houston sweats. Men have to exercise a surgical precision when stating what's on their mind. If you say too much, you are being extra. If you sugar-coat it, you are bullshitting. If you yell, you are being crazy. So words must be chosen wisely and tact must be exercised when you speak on a matter. There is increased difficulty when you are discussing matters of the heart. First, let me state for the record that we do have feelings & shit (I added "& shit" b/c without it that statement sounded rather effeminate) . Second, I just wanted to take a quick tally of how many women feel this way:
"I must admit I dont give men credit. I always assume them to be super sexualized beast"
-Female Friend
If you raised your hand in agreement, please slap the woman next to you who had her hand up and vice versa. YEAH! (C) Pastor Troy. It's that assumption that causes the sensible woman (not the scallywag) to immediately have her guard up when she begins dealing with a guy. I mean, we want the cakes, but we're interested in you too... sike. Naw, Naw, seriously, don't assume that's ALL a man wants from you until you discuss it. If the nigga says one thing but ends up lying in the end, well... he's a super sexualized beast and you just lost one. It's OK. But, back to the feelings.
Women operate in the land of emotion. You are taught to embrace them and utilize them to make your judgements (re: female intuition). When men enter that zone, it's unfamiliar territory. And the deeper you get into this parallel universe of feelings (& shit), the more confusing it becomes. Now even if you've been in love before, it's always a challenge when you realize that once again you have given someone the power to play puppeteer with your heart strings. I've said before that communication is essential in a healthy relationship. Well,
feelings + communication = discussion * feelings = heated debate
heated debate* feelings = dumb argument
You see what feelings do to the equation?
Even the most logical man and sensible woman can end up in CB/RiRi interaction (worst case scenario) based on feelings. But the man faces the greatest challenge in remaining calm yet aggressive, direct yet delicate, and a host of other oxymorons. I mean sure, we could say exactly how we feel but that would end up in one of two scenarios 1) man soundin' like a lil bitch or 2) man hurtin' woman's feelings and makin her cry. Double standards are sometimes necessary and in this case, yes, a man should receive just a lil bit more credit for expressing himself than a woman. (Don't blame me, blame society). At times, self-expression is a tight rope walk. You have to find that balance between being eloquent and emoting.
